Life:as is

February Life: as is

2010-02-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

At the outset of a new month, I am reminded that I am changing. My life is in motion. These changes are happening both short and long term.

-I am transitioning from the weekend to the work week.

-I am transitioning (slowly) from a man who wears XL to a man who wears L.

-I am transitioning from a boy to a man.

-I am transitioning out of Knoxville.

-I am transitioning in the ways I relate as a son, brother, and friend-both intentionally and unintentionally.

I am finding that in this constant motion, it is easier to go with the flow than to stop and take stock of what's happening in my life. In the midst transitions, I often live as a survivalist seeking to merely make it through whatever obstacles may come my way.

As I enter my life in February 2010, I am aware that this is the only February 2010 that I will be given. So why not be aware of what's happening in my life as I begin this month? Why not pay attention to my story and what God is teaching me in it?

Taking a step back to examine my life and the transitions that are taking place gives me the opportunity to appreciate the blessings that my life offers now. It gives hope a chance to exist even in the dark and heavy places that exist now. And ultimately, it enriches the ordinary and routine parts of my life, seasoning them with eternal perspective.

Right now, as I am transitioning in many places and many ways, I am finding that life is:

-Tangled

-Exciting/Hopeful

-Tender

-Normal

-Full

-On hold

As we being this new month, what words describe your life? Over the next few days/weeks, I plan to take time to digest the words I've listed. What do those words say about me: who I am, who I'm becoming, and what God is saying to me right now? May we all learn and choose to pay attention to life:as is.

Need

2010-01-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

I need you...

These are words I often find myself speaking to God both privately and corporately.

Of late, I'm wondering about the significance of that statement. Do I say it with strings attached? Am I turning God into Santa Claus, saying "God I need you...to do this for me"?

I know that the best thing for me is more of God, yet if you watched the way I live my life, you'd say that what I really think I need most is food, time to watch tv, new music on my ipod, and whatever else draws my fickle attention and affection from moment to moment.

Like usual, I don't have a whole lot of poignant thoughts here, just a bunch of questions.

What does it mean to need God?

What does it mean to want God...for God only, not what He brings?

Does He get glory from my acknowledged need for Him?

What keeps me from receiving more of Him?

And here I am again, knowing that what I need more than answers is God. What I need more than figuring out life is God.

God, I need you...just for you...

Transitioning

2010-01-14T08:52:00.000-08:00

Among other things, google definestransition as:
• passage: the act of passing from one state or place to the next
• conversion: an event that results in a transformation
• a change from one place or state or subject or stage to another
Transitioning...am I? Am I changing? Am I in a passage? Am I in conversion?

As long as I can remember, I have always been on the husky side. Even in high school when I played competitive basketball and was in great shape, I was still a little hefty. I have never had the discipline or desire to diet or exercise frequently enough to address my weight. Because of that, I have continued to gain weight since college.

For the last two weeks, I have been counting calories and trying to run five days a week so that I can drop some weight and live in a healthier manner physically. As I have been doing so, I have had a few observations:

In my daily calorie count, I am aiming to consume between 1200-1400 calories each day. I am also allowing myself to have one day a week where I am in the 2000-2300 range. Now that I'm counting calories, I've realized that at times I would
consume 3000 or more calories in a day. That is very humbling to admit. But what I am finding is that by lowering my calories and eating healthier, I have significantly more energy and feel significantly better as I live out my day to day life. It's as if my body is telling me it's better to not gorge. My body does better when I'm not constantly filling and overwhelming it's capacities. Putting on weight and gorging robs me of energy.

One of the contributing factors to me finally buckling down and doing this has been a growing level of frustration over the fit of my clothes. I'm tired of having my clothes fit tightly. I'm tired of worrying about how I look when a shirt is too tight. I'm tired of being uncomfortable in jeans that are too tight. I want my clothes to fit well. I want to comfortably wear my clothes. And what I'm finding is that very, very slowly they are beginning to fit a little better. The past two days, I've worn a jacket that I haven't in the past because it's been too tight. And even though it still is a little bit tight, I am proud that I can wear it, and am excited for when it fits even better. I'm beginning to view my clothing differently. Instead of thinking primarily about how it fits now, I think more about how it is going to fit 2 months from now. My focus is less on where I am now, and more on where I am going. When I pull out clothes, I feel ok with them being a little bit tight, because I know soon enough, they won't be. I feel more confident on where I am now because I know I won't be at the same place in a month, 2 months, or a year. Knowing that I'm changing allows me to put my head down and keep working at changing. Having hope for change makes a difference now.

While happening very slowly, these transitions in my body have me thinking about heart transitions. They give me hope that I am changing. I am in a passage. I am converting.
I think that often, I gorge my heart and soul just like I have gorged my body in the past. My day is full of noise and distraction. My day starts with music to wake me up. It continues with noise in the car, noise at work, and noise at home. I'm filling up all the time. When am I leaving space? When am I not feeding on something? When am I not consuming? When do I have rhythms of quiet and still? I'm thinking that constantly filling up robs me of joy. Just like my body is doing better with less calories, maybe my soul would do better if I didn't always fill up. How do I steward my soul in a way that allows joyful response to the Gospel? That's what I want.

I also am thinking about sanctification. Am I becoming more of who I am supposed to be? Often the changes in my life feel like they happen so slow that I feel like I live out of despair, not hope. I think as I look at myself, it's good that I'm not content with where I am. But I think I should also live equally out of the hope for who God is making me to be. Just as I know that in 2 months I won't weigh what I do now, I know that in 2 months, I won't be the same person I am now. I know that because God has said so. He's transforming us from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18). He's making me more like Christ. What if I lived now with a view not only of the me now, but also the me I'm becoming? What if hope of transformation informed the way I live right now?

I don't write this to say that I can cause myself to grow. I can't make myself more like Christ. I can't earn God's love, favor, or presence. But as I work out my salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), I should give thought to how I am caring for my soul. I should give thought what I am consuming and how that impacts who I'm becoming. I want the hope of who I'm becoming to shape the way I view myself, God, and others. I want hope to inspire joy. I don't want to be robbed of joy by constantly consuming and living only out of who I am now.

I am in transition. I always will be. Transition is a hard process. Maybe that explains why life is so often uncomfortable. But with transition also comes hope and joy. May hope and joy be squeezed out of me with each step of transition.

Seasoning

2010-01-14T06:45:00.000-08:00

What if God's love for us wasn't deep?
What if God didn't offer grace or mercy?
What if Jesus didn't come to live the life we're called to and die the death we deserve?
Maybe a picture of things that might be said if God wasn't these things:
(While this doesn't all fit musically, this is intended to be the opposite of "How Deep thee Father's Love")

How apathetic the Father's love for us
It's selfish like a child
He closed His door and left us out
In our wretched shame and sorrow
How great our pain and loneliness
We bear sin alone
My wounds will fester all my life
And be that which defines me

I am the man upon my cross
My sin is on my shoulders
Condemning yells are all I hear
From Satan, myself, and others
It's my own sin that holds me here
Justice never fully accomplished
Each painful breath will bring more death
Forever and forever

I will boast in anything
That gives me worth and meaning
So that I may numb the pain
Of emptiness and longing
Congratulate me for how I make
My life look so together
But deep inside I'll always know
I'm empty, undone, and broken

Thankfully, God is merciful, has deep love, etc. so we can and do sing truths like:
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast inJesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Life as of now

2010-01-14T06:43:00.000-08:00

As I'm writing, I'm soaking in the words of the David Wilcox song, “Do I Dare”. I am being reminded of questions that are hauntingly familiar. “Do I dare believe and let love lead my life? Could I not believe and leave that love behind?” Looking over this season of my life, I see my tendencies to not believe in God’s love, and to leave it behind. Through the examination of my story and the characters in it, I am realizing that often the idol that sits in the place of worship in my life is feeling important and valued by those around me. Sadly, this is not a terribly new realization for me. I have long known that I seek the approval and affections of others. Yet, I am realizing again in this season of life how much effort I put into making myself valuable to others. I work so hard to earn love. It seems like this is all that I know how to do.

My sin has left my life in a mess. Maybe to others it may appear that my life is together, but I see that my sin separates me from the relationship with God that I was created for. I see how my sin distances me from relationships with others that are as meaningful and significant as originally intended. Caught…I’m caught between Eden and Heaven, and I feel the pull of feeling separated, yet longing for full-restoration.

Faced with these realizations, I could work uphill the rest of my life to make the broken pieces fit back together with as much neatness as I can possibly arrange for. I could seek to make my life work out as comfortably as possible, maximizing the pleasures and joys of life, minimizing the pain and brokenness. And while this is often the paradigm out of which I live, I am sensing a deeper, fuller calling. Instead of seeking to earn the love, affection, and value of others, what if I rested in the deep love of Christ? I am remembering that nothing, no height, no depth, not anything in all the earth can separate me from the love of God in Christ. I hear Him asking me why I spend my money on that which is not food and my labor for that which does not last. Why would I spend my time and talents to earn love from others, when I already have His? How different would my life be if I simply sought to please my Father, faithfully stewarding the things He’s asked me to?

This has been a difficult season of life for me, and I guess I’m being reminded that God has deep purpose for hardships and struggles in my life. He’s wanting to pull me away from all the places that I’m seeking life besides Him. He’s breaking me of settling for a life where things fall neatly in place. He’s opening me up to a deeper hope of simply knowing and loving Him more. So here I am, a 27 year old who feels like I should have figured these things out by now. I feel like I have always been learning this, and yet I sense that I will always be learning this. I will always be faced with the temptation to define myself by what I can do instead of as one who is a child of the Father. My prayer is that I equally embrace the struggles and joys of life, and I hope that both will lead me to a deeper love of Christ.

5 Words

2009-06-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a friend last week about 1 Corinthians 14 where Paul is talking about prophecy, tongues, and gifts of the Spirit. We got to talking specifically about verse 19 where he says "Nevertheless, in church I would rather speak five words with my mind in order to instruct others, than ten thousand words in a tongue."
I'm not interested in a conversation about speaking in tongues or not speaking in tongues...but as we talked, I was struck with the question of what 5 words Paul would say to me if he only had 5 words he could speak to me.

If you could use only 5 words to express the Gospel, what 5 words would you use?

Thankfully, we have the opportunity to use more than 5 words, but it was just an interesting thought for me. Interested to see what/if any kind of responses you may have...

why?

2009-06-23T08:41:00.001-07:00

why do i...
-think the world revolves around me?
-want the world to revovle around me?
-not trust that His love is enough?
-do so many things that war against my heart/soul?
-live such a noisy life?
-care so much about things that don't matter?
-care so little about things that do?

What I need to hear today and tomorrow

2009-06-17T13:09:00.000-07:00

Before the throne of God above, I have a strong and perfect plea,
A great High Priest whose name is “Love,”
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands, My name is written on His heart;
I know that while in heaven He stands No tongue can bid me thence depart.
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair, And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died, My sinful soul is counted free;
For God the just is satisfied To look on Him and pardon me.
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there! the risen Lamb, My perfect, spotless Righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM, The King of glory and of grace!
One with Himself I cannot die, My soul is purchased by His blood;
My life is hid with Christ on high, With Christ my Savior and my God
With Christ my Savior and my God.

lyrics- Charitie Lees Bancroft
music-Vikki Cook

Son of the Father

2009-03-11T06:20:00.000-07:00

For a long time, I've been struck by the life of Barabbas. According to Matthew, Barabbas was a "notorious prisoner". Mark lists him among a group of "rebels in prions, who had committed murder in the insurrection". John simply tells us that Barabbas was a robber.
It strikes me that these were not only his legal descriptions, but also the adjectives that began to define who he was . He was no longer Barabbas, son of____________. He was no longer Barabbas, brother to_______________. He was no longer Barabbas, the man who worked with____________. He was legally and nominally Barabbas, the notorious prisoner. Barabbas, whose name means son of the father, was no longer defined as being the son of his father, but as the man who had committed murder during an insurrection. He was the notorious prisoner.

But, even Barabbas, the notorious criminal receives grace (getting what we don't deserve) and mercy (not getting what we do deserve) in the form of Jesus Christ. Barabbas was the man for whom Christ literally took the cross of death. Pilate, who wanted nothing to do with Christ's punishment or death asked the crowd if they wanted Jesus or Barabbas. This would be like President Obama asking the country who that want forgiven and released: Osama Bin Laden, or a man who had done nothing illeagal, but simply had offended a group of people. It seems like Pilate was trying to choose the most hated man possible so that the mob would have to choose to release Christ. But in their fury, the mob chose to release Barabbas. He received the opportunity for a new life. Mercy. He was pardoned from the death he deserved. Grace.

As I think about the life of Barabbas, it's not hard to put myself in his place. I was born into a life as a notorious criminal/sinner. This was my identity.
But as the mob cries for my release, it is Christ who takes the death I deserve. And in that, I receive new life. In that, my identity changes from notorious sinner, to son of the father.

May I step further into life-relationship with the Father through Christ. May the rhythms of the trinity be at work in and through my life. May the gospel be ever fresh in my heart and mind.

"It was my sin that held him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished"
-How Deep the Fathers Love For us

How Deep? How Long?

2009-03-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

Just wondering about my life and my heart...
How deep do things go into my heart?
How long do those things linger in my heart?
Do they ever go away and stop affecting my life?
Here's me hoping and trusting that good things linger and have affect in my life.
Here's me hoping and trusting and needing to know that the hard things that happen in my life that go deep into my heart are being redeemed for good...

"Grace makes beauty out of ugly things" -U2

Capital Punishment

2009-02-26T09:27:00.000-08:00

In ancient Rome, if you were found guilty of a capital offense, you were sentenced with any number of capital punishments. One of which involved being tied foot to foot, waist to waist, hand to hand, face to face with a dead body. You would be assigned a Roman guard who would follow you around to make sure that you didn't untie yourself from the corpse. Essentially, you were living life with the extra weight of this rotting corpse. As you slept, you slept with a rotting corpse. As you walked through town, you walked through town with a rotting corpse.

Great shame would have accompanied you as you lived with this body. Everyone that you saw would have known you were guilty of a capital offense. Because of this, they would want nothing to do with you-you were cut off from humanity.

I doubt that I could put into words how bad I imagine a rotting corpse would smell. I can't imagine how nauseous the sight of a rotting body would be. So even if you were still loved by friends and family, they wouldn't physically be able to be around you without become sick-you were separated from relationship.

Eventually, as the corpse rotted, decomposed, and melted, it would rot, decompose, and melt into your own flesh, eventually killing you. This would have been a slow, disgusting, painful process. This process slowly separated you from life as death literally invaded your life.

The only way that you were allowed to untie yourself was if someone offered to untie you and tie the corpse to themselves.

As I think about that picture, I hear Christ's beckoning:

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." -Matthew 11:28-30

I think of all the things Christ is calling and bringing me out of as he unties the rotting corpse of my sin/flesh and ties it upon himself.

-I lose my certain death

-I lose the stench of living a me-centered existence

-I lose the shame that accompanies that existence (not to be confused with Godly guilt-we still have that as the Spirit brings us back to Christ again and again)

-I gain life (full-life, life as it was intended)

-I gain the ability to meaningfully relate to others

-I gain the aroma of Christ as he sanctifies me

-I gain freedom

This isn't to say that we won't chose sin. This isn't to say that we won't foolishly chose to re-tie ourselves to the rotting corpse of our flesh and sin. But it is to say:

"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" -Romans 7:24-25

May he increase and may I decrease.

Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy...

A few thoughts on worship

2009-02-17T08:18:00.000-08:00

Right now in the Rejoice Worship Ministry, we're spending some time in our devotion times talking about worship. Here are a few of the simple thoughts that have been shared or will be shared:
-we long for and were created for transcendence, something bigger than us
hundreds of thousands of folks chose to spend time and money to stand in the freezing cold to watch a man put his hand on the Bible and repeat some vows. I'm not trying to diminish Obama or any other president's getting sworn in. It is an important, historical moment. I do think though that it is a picture of our longing for transcendence. We want to be part of something bigger than me, something we can tell my kids and grand kids we were part of...
-we worship in the context of story
The simplified version of this story goes like this:
We each have a personal hell, something we need salvation from.
We each look to someone or something as our personal savior from our personal hell.
We place value (worship) the thing or person that saves us from our hell.
Look at commercials:
1. You have acne which keeps you from______________(personal hell)
2. Use proactive solution to save you from that personal hell so that you can ________ (savior)
3. Spend money and time on proactive solution (worship)
(note-Marc Driscoll taught on this idea at the Continuous Worship conference 07)
-worship is about what we value
-what we value shapes the way we live
If you want a great picture of this, watch the movie/documentary "Trekkies".
If you come into my house, you get an idea of the things I value. If you look at my bank statements, you can get an idea of the things I value. If you watched how I spent my time, you'd get an idea about what I value.
-because we're made in God's image, we are continuously outpouring
read Harold Best's book "Unceasing Worship" for a great study of this
-Who/what we worship shapes who we are ("We Become What We Worship" -G.K. Beale)

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."
-Romans 12:1-2 (the message)

These are just a few of the thoughts we've talked about or will be talking about. Feel free to share any thoughts or input you may have.

Dreams cont.

2009-02-17T08:13:00.000-08:00

11. Live in a big city for a season
12. Beach home (hey, I can at least dream right?)
13. Wrap-around porch
14. House with a "quiet room"
15. Field of dreams (baseball field on my property)

Bats, balls, gloves...can't wait

2009-02-10T07:47:00.000-08:00

Baseball...ahhh (that is a good, life-giving ahhh)

2 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training.

2 months until opening day.

watching and waiting...

Spring...in February

2009-02-10T07:38:00.000-08:00

I think I can handle 60 and 70 degrees in February.
I find it interesting and really nice that something as simple as weather can breathe new life into my winterized heart and life. I'm thankful for the ability to feel...
I feel warmth on my skin now when I walk outside-that brings joy...
I feel the anticipation of spring-that brings hope...
I feel the overflow of rolling windows down and listening to loud music-that feels alive...
I feel the excitement of a new season of Baseball-that makes me feel like a kid again...
What brings you joy, hope, life, and child-like today?

Not a new observation, but spring slowly emerging from it's winter slumber gives me hope that my heart is doing the same thing. It gives me hope that my heart lives in seasons. It makes me long for a season of new life. It makes me yearn for grace and mercy that is new every morning. It makes me want to better know the God who makes all things new.

Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy...

Waiting for...

2009-01-22T08:34:00.000-08:00

"Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him." -Hebrews 9:27-28
"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." -Psalm 27:4

In the community of folks that I live my life around, a great deal of thoughts and words are spent in the direction of waiting. We spend our Advent remembering that we are to watch and wait for Immanuel, God with us. Immanuel 2000 years ago. Immanuel now. Immanuel to come. We celebrate, remember, and wait for the God who was, is, and is to come.
We sing about it. We teach about it. We pray about it. We wonder about it. And I guess I'm finding myself asking the simple questions: what does it mean to wait for God and why are we told in scripture to do so?

By nature, waiting finds one in a posture of lacking or dependence. Every Christmas eve from 1987-1993 would find me and my brother awake at 4.30 eagerly awaiting the 6.00 hour that our parents set as the time we could see what Santa brought for us. We were lacking bicycles, teenage mutant ninja turtles, and baseball cards, so why would we not be up for hours eagerly anticipating what would soon become ours. We were dependant on some outside force (i.e. Santa=mom and dad) to provide what it was that we were waiting for.

If we already had the complete set of 1988 Donruss baseball cards, we wouldn't be up all night waiting for them-lack. If it weren't for parents who cared about their 2 overly eager sons, we wouldn't have been up waiting for gifts-dependant.

Where are you lacking?
Where are you dependant?

I'm so quick to make sure that I'm not lacking what it is I want. I work hard so that I am independent. Maybe waiting for Christ could simply mean allowing myself to lack. Maybe waiting for Christ could simply mean intentionally seeking dependence.

Waiting...am I?

At times, waiting happens in the face of the most desperate of circumstances. We wait to hear the results from the doctor. We wait for the phone to ring from that one specific person. Maybe waiting could simply mean being desperate for something to come to me with hope in hand.

But the thing about waiting is that at times, waiting causes us to miss now. We get so caught up in what we're waiting for that we miss the moment to moment normalness of life. In waiting for Santa to bring me that blue huffy bike on Christmas morning, I missed the interactions with grandma and grandpa. And while they understood why, I missed them nevertheless. Are we to miss the normalness of a walk as the sun goes down? Are we to miss the samenss of seeing our breath when we breathe on a frigid winter morning? Are we to miss the sweetness of a welcoming embrace of a friend? Are we called to miss now because we're waiting for what has yet to come?

What if waiting means living a desperate, lacking, dependant life rooted in the nowness of each moment, guided by the raising of our eyes to what we're waiting for?

So what are you waiting for? Is it strong enough to draw you back to the nowness of today all while shaping the way you live in the now?

Numb

2009-01-21T14:20:00.000-08:00

Where are you oh my heart
I thought i knew just where to find youI
've grown tired of this game of hide and seek
Only to find it hidden under lock and key

numb...numb
Where are you oh emotion?
I thought you were sewn upon my sleeves
I grow tired of this digging
Digging to find it's still further burried

Numb...numb...

Why does it seem the one who hid it is the only one who can find it?
Is the one who burried it the only one that can unearth it?

numb...numb

Cut through like a knife
Drive through like a stake
Scream out in the rain
Unearth from your grave

(this is a little old, but hey, might as well put it on here)

...so far...

2009-01-21T11:15:00.000-08:00

100 dreams (so far)
1. World Series Game
2. Wife and kids
3. Hawaii Vacation
4. Know Christ's voice more each year
5. School of spiritual direction with Larry Crabb
6. See a game at every MLB stadium
7. Write a book
8. See U2 live
9. Love God more each year
10. Learn more how to walk in step with the Spirit

100 Dreams

2009-01-21T09:19:00.000-08:00

Recently a friend of mine challenged me to join him in brainstorming 100 dreams for my life. I've found out that putting 100 dreams to page isn't as easy as it may seem, at least for me. I'm finding that in living my life day to day, I often forget the big picture. I live a short-cited life. And while in some ways living in the now is good, I feel like I'm trapped in living a small, me-centered life. I can handle living a small, quiet life. What I fear is realizing 5 years, 10 years, 15 years from now that I've wasted my life because I've not had vision to see beyond the day to day and week to week.

In all of this, I keep coming back to hope. hope. hope. "And these three remain, faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love." Seems like I've spent a lot of time thinking about faith and love, leaving behind hope. And while living full of faith and love is important, what if hope shapes my love and faith? What if love affects faith and hope? What if faith affects love and hope? What if I've been relying on 2 legs of a 3-legged stool? Wouldn't that leave me on the floor? hope. hope. hope.
Hope-(verb)"To look forward with desire and reasonable confidence"
With this thought of hope, it seems that what I hope for shapes the way I live right now. If I hope to see a World Series game at some point in my life (which I do), it will affect the way I'm living now. There are choices I will make that will lead towards making this hope a reality. I will say yes to things with this hope in mind. I will say no to things with this hope in mind.

And if I don't acknowledge this hope, I will live only here and now. Here and now is good. Here and now is important. But what if here and now for me is because I'm too lazy and apathetic to discipline myself now for the sake of faith, for the sake of hope, and for the sake of hope.

SO-what are you hoping for? What are you dreams?
Dream on...

Getting Started

2008-09-03T12:47:00.001-07:00

Well, this is new for me...just thought I'd do it...don't know why. Just am. And you'll like it.